Bookish Battle Royale! (Bout of Books/My Life in Books Challenge)

Alright, so I had to think long and hard about who I thought should battle it out and I think I've come up with some pretty weird characters that I think would make an awesome battle. The characters are:

Haymitch Abernathy (The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins)

Strengths

• Resourceful
• Intelligent
• Survived the Hunger Games for goodness sake!
• Extremely invested in protecting the people he cares about

Weaknesses

• Usually intoxicated
• Haunted by his experiences in the Hunger Games

Argus Filch (Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling)

Strengths

• Loves torturing students (has had practice & the tools to do so)
• Has no problem with corporal/inventive punishment
• Mrs. Norris (helps him find scoundrels)

Weaknesses

• Out of shape
• Squib
• Not the most intelligent person in the world

Gollum (The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien)

Strengths

• Cunning
• Resourceful
• Intelligent/Good riddle teller
• Manipulative 

Weaknesses

• Driven mad by The Ring
• Thinks he's two different people
• Loosing strength since he lost The Ring

And the winner is: Gollum

Gollum would, baring he's not under the impression that he's two different people, be able to distract poor old Filch enough to be able to steal some of his torture devices. Since Mr. Filch can't use magic, he wouldn't be able to stop Gollum. Gollum's so cunning that he probably wouldn't be seen by many people at Hogwarts, minus those who have the Marauder's Map. Haymitch, skilled and knowledgeable as he is, would probably be in too much of a drunken stuper to truly be able to defend himself. So the winner would be Smiegel, all the while whispering to himself "My Precious!".