Heyo!
It's been a looooong time since I've checked this page out! I have to say I kinda-sorta-maybe-definitely forgot about it for a while, but I'm back! I can't say I will remember to make posts very often, but I do plan on keeping this thing alive in some way, shape, or form for the foreseeable future. I have to say, I was blown away when I logged into the account and saw that the blog has over 500 views! That's so exciting, especially considering that I had about 150ish views when I last checked in. Thanks so much!
Ok, now to some business. I originally started this blog as a book blog where I was planning on posting updates on my reading as well as book reviews. I may still do that, but it will only be a part of the content. I plan on posting about many different subjects and how they relate to my life or what I've seen going on in the world around me (i.e.- personal experiences, seen in the news, YouTube topics, etc.). I think this will (hopefully) encourage me to post more because I won't feel so limited in my possible topics. I have so much that I want to say/write about that I sometimes get overwhelmed and feel like I can't do it because I don't want to be too long winded and get off on tangents. I'm going to try and make smaller posts on more specific topics. This post does not count in that goal.
I have previously mentioned that I have created a YouTube channel, which I still have, and post videos on. Again, my schedule isn't quite worked out yet but I'm still planning on making new videos for a while. I really enjoy doing it (even though I'm very inexperienced) and it really got me thinking about what I want to do in the future. I really enjoy thinking up ideas of videos that I want to create, making them, editing them, and posting them online for people to see. I have yet to announce this fact to anyone in real life, but I'm working on getting to a point where I feel comfortable in doing so. Anyway, back to the whole "what am I gonna do with my life" conundrum.
As I said, I've really been enjoying making videos for YouTube. I've also really enjoyed watching YouTube videos created by vloggers such as Bunny Meyer (Grav3yardgirl), Zoe Sugg (Zoella), Tyler Oakley, Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart (MyHarto/YourHarto), Colleen Ballinger (Psychosoprano/Miranda Sings), Kingsley, Nick (stillsoundlyawake), Carrie Fletcher (ItsWayPastMyBedTime), Laci Green, Jenna Marbles, Tanya Burr, and many, many others that I just honestly don't feel like typing out at the moment. While watching these people, I've really gained a huge respect for what they do online and how they script, produce, film, edit, and basically overall produce really quality filled videos. I've also been inspired by these people because not only are they wonderful creators, but they are also using their platform (the internet) for good. Whether it be to make people laugh, feel included, or just spread positive messages, they do what they do because they love it and they care about the world around them.
People like Bunny and Zoe have really helped me feel like I'm not so alone with my anxiety and depression as I thought I was. I got into a really deep depression at the end of last year/beginning of this year and I really struggled with feeling alone in my misery. That sounds really cliche but it's true. Honestly, watching their vlogs and being able to not only listen to their stories and how they've coped but being able to put a face to the words and experiences really made me feel better.
Other people like Tyler Oakley, Hannah Hart, Laci Green, Carrie Fletcher, and many others have also helped me realize that it is okay to speak out about issues that are important to you and that you can really make a difference in someone's life just by putting your face and voice online. These people have such positive attitudes and are so frank about important issues that I just really felt inspired. I know that I have no idea how these people are in real life, and I'm not trying to say that I worship them (which I don't), but I do appreciate the work that they put into their videos and the message that they send to their viewers.
Speaking of worshipping celebrities/well-known people, I think it's really important to note and realize that no one is perfect. The thing that I like about these YouTubers is that they're not afraid to admit that they're not perfect (but are still fabulous) and that it is OK. For a long time I was obsessed with being perfect in everything that I did, and I think that really took a toll on me. I wanted to be the best, the youngest, the smartest, the nicest, the prettiest, the cutest. Since graduating college in 2013, I've had to take a really hard look at myself and realize that those things are not possible, but I can still be happy and have a fulfilling life. It may sound crazy to say that these people that I've never met in my life and probably will never meet have influenced me so much, but I don't think it is. They are not the only thing that has helped me (things like therapy, finding the appropriate medication, actually listening to myself and what other people have to say on subjects like anxiety and depression, music, learning to accept and love myself despite the flaws are all contributing factors to my progress), but YouTube and the people who create to make viewers laugh and feel something good are a huge part of it. I'm so thankful that I saw a suggested video for Grav3yard girl earlier this year, otherwise I don't know how I would've gotten through these past 16 months.
Anyway, enough about my love of YouTube. My point in all of this is that I hope to be making more posts about life in general in the future because I have been inspired by all of these amazing people (and more) to pursue what I really want to do with my life: helping people, and making videos/movies. I want to work not only on myself but also help others in whatever they're struggling with. In the past almost year and a half since graduation, I've had to do a lot of soul searching. I've discovered interests I never thought I'd have. I've allowed myself to be interested and enjoy things I've always wanted to enjoy but was too scared to express myself. I've discovered new things I want to do with my life. Now I've just got to work on pursuing the dreams that I have and acknowledging that I have the ability to do so. There's nothing stopping me, and there's nothing stopping anyone reading this from doing what they want to do with their lives.
Thank you for reading this insanely long post and I truly believe great things are going to happen in the future.
<3 Sarah
