Waddup people of the internets!
So I've been thinking about topics to blog/vlog about which has led me to watch other people's videos for inspiration. Let me just say that I love the people who are not afraid to be their weird selves. I find them hilarious and real and inspiring. However, one thing has become very apparent to me when I started paying closer attention to media in the past few months. I'm so happy that there are more and more people preaching about self acceptance, but it bothers me that the people who are preaching self acceptance and positive body image are all REALLY FREAKING SKINNY AND BEAUTIFUL. Like, what? I get that there is an enormous pressure to be a size 0 (don't even get me started on the existence of a size freaking 0… what? Are these people supposed to be air?), what about the people who are not a size 0, or even a size 10? Or who don't like to wear make up every day? What about them? Are they supposed to try to fit into the published views of beauty because that's all they see?!
I understand that some people are naturally smaller, but I also know that some people are naturally bigger. There is no shame in this fact. I've seen a lot of media telling people that it's okay to be a certain size, but these things also seem to be shaming the people who are not like them. For instance, people seem to vilify naturally skinny people when they are promoting healthy lifestyles, and the same goes for naturally bigger people. It shouldn't matter what size you are, because no matter what, people are beautiful, no matter their size. They should not be made to feel bad because they are one size and not another, whether it be bigger or smaller. I don't believe in body shaming of any kind, and I don't believe that making one group feel worse to make yourself feel better is really getting us anywhere. I don't believe that calling skinny people smart because they eat a salad is right in the same way that I don't believe that calling a bigger person eating a cheeseburger fatty is okay. I hate seeing images of a larger person eating a salad being called "dieting", and I hate seeing a smaller person eating chicken nuggets as being "unhealthy". Okay, maybe that's not a good example because chicken nuggets aren't the most healthy thing in the world, but I hope my point is getting across. The point is, they're human beings and human beings can enjoy a salad or something chicken nuggets every once in a while.
One of my favorite JLaw moments was when she told a red carpet reporter that she was getting McDonalds at that very moment. Like, hello! That's okay! It's natural, she's human, and there's nothing wrong with that. That doesn't mean she eats it on a regular basis (fyi- I have no idea what she eats on a regular basis, I'm not that much of a creep 0_o) the same way I don't eat a salad on a regular basis based of the simple fact that I'm not a size 2.
Now, as I said, I'm working on getting a Youtube channel going and as I look around other Youtube channels, I've started getting disheartened for several reasons, mainly being that "I don't look like these people who are preaching natural weirdness" because, let's face it, I don't look like a beauty queen. I believe that I am an attractive person, but I still find myself comparing my appearance or personality to others. As I was filming and watching a video last night, I had a recurring thought in my head, that even though I enjoyed doing it, and even though I had some good things to say, that I could not help but notice that I looked exceptionally large in this video and that somehow detracted from the content. That was not the point of the video. The video is my first attempt at curling my hair with heatless curlers. Somehow it turned into me not wanting to post it because I looked too big.
This has been a very big reason as to why I have not ventured into things like this before. I am constantly getting nonverbal messages that the powerful and popular and game changing people are all gorgeous all of the time or they are really really skinny and valued more than the people who just happen to be bigger or don't feel like wearing cute clothes all the time (not that there's anything wrong with this, do whatever floats your boat!). This bothers the shit out of me because if it's influencing me so negatively, then it's more than likely affecting other people in the same way. How many people out there have the same dreams as me but are inadvertently told that they would not be accepted because they don't "look the part"?
That DOES NOT mean that I am not beautiful, which I try to remind myself on a regular basis. Even still, the thoughts of not looking like people on the internet still makes a lasting impression. This is absolutely ridiculous. There is this idea that people on the internet, on tv, in movies, or in magazines always look GORGEOUS, even when they're "messy". Is it just me or do other people notice this?!? Now I get that beauty and sex sells, but I'm not talking about commercials promoting certain products. I'm talking about people being people.
All of this makes me think of body shaming. I recently came across an article titled "Jennifer Lawrence Body-Shames You More Than You Might Realize". I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some JLaw, but this article did have some interesting points. While I believe that her comments have to be taken in context, I totally agree with the point that if somebody who is not extremely fit (as is Ms. Lawrence) were to make these same comments, they would be chastised and shunned and the gossip sites would explode with terrible comments. One of my favorite JLaw quotes is the one where she says people can go @*#% themselves if they tell her to diet, and she's right. She's fit and healthy and there is absolutely no reason she needs to diet.
On the other hand, I believe that if Melissa McCarthy were to make the same comments, she'd be one of those people who is chastised and shunned and made fun of on gossip sites, and this is completely wrong. I don't remember where I read this, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I read/heard somewhere that Melissa said that she does eat healthily and remains her weight without eating unhealthy foods but also not starving herself. And guess what? SHE'S STILL BEAUTIFUL, not to mention HI-LARIOUS. It doesn't matter what her weight is, she's beautiful because she not only has natural beauty, but she's confident and hasn't let anything get in her way, the same way that JLaw has. Take these two completely different people on the outside and strip them down to their messages and their successes, and you'll get the same thing: women who are strong, independent, confident, go-getters who just happen to be packaged differently. That shouldn't take away from their contributions to the world, but unfortunately this society has taken away from so many other people's talents and world contributions because of their outside packaging.
This brings me back to myself. I've always been an athlete, but I've also always struggled with body image. I've been told on more than one occasion that I am not good enough to progress in the sport that I love because I'm not fit enough and can't keep up with other people. Granted, I understand that weight has a lot to do with speed, but it's not everything. I'm not saying that I probably couldn't have stood to lose a few pounds, but I certainly was not unhealthy or "fat", even though I thought I was. I've let these few negative comments dominate my world and self image so much that it depreciates from my actual skills. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of letting a few people's opinions mold who I am and who I'm not. Even as I'm typing this, I can feel my momentum slowing because I don't want to talk about it and can feel the affect that these comments have had on me even now, years later.
So now to the real juice of this post. I, Sarah P, will not, under any circumstances, continue to let other people's opinions (perceived or real) slow me down or prevent me from achieving or even attempting to do what I want to. I am a smart, intelligent, down-to-earth, beautiful, forward thinking, college-educated, funny, insightful, creative woman who is full of potential and I will not let that potential be silenced by people whose sole purpose is to bring others down. And I encourage anybody else out there to do the same, no I beg everyone to do the same. I look forward to meeting some of you in the future wherever it may be!
Peace out,
Poison <3
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